Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all.. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain. Bottoms up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain...Good!


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy? HELLO .... Cocoa beans! Vegetable!!! Cocoa beans best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me.


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.


AND.....


For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:


1. The Japanese eat very little fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


4 The Italians drink a lot of red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


CONCLUSION.....


Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

"Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. "

I can´t stop laughing!!!!!!!!! heheheehehe this is GREAT news!
Oh boy...my stomach becomes bigger by every laugh!!! It HURTS!!! hehehehehehe.........now I know why it was so hard to learn English!!!
:O)
:O)
:O)

loooooool berns!!!

ha ha ha ha ha funny. I needed to laugh today.

...lol..lolllll..thanx for the smiles!

as always you are welcomed...heres another i found equally as humourous-

A PhD graduate and an ordinary man went on a camping trip, set up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, the ordinary man woke up his PhD friend: "Look up at the sky and tell me what you see?"

The PhD man replies: "I see millions of stars." The ordinary man asks: "What does that tell you?"

The PhD guy ponders for a minute: "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Satan is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

The ordinary man is silent for a moment, and then speaks: "Practically........it tells me that someone has stolen our tent".

Be educated in the right way and not beyond the boundaries!

hehehehehe → ♂Who°™ ← Who I like your humour a lot!!! :O)